I tried I really really tried…I got
dressed splashed a little water on my face made it to
the living room and actually thought I would make it
to work. It was the last day before vacation and I
hated to bail.
Now I apologize to all readers because this next bit is
going to sound like something my grandmother would say
over dinner turning everyone’s stomachs.
Just when I had my bag slung over my shoulder I had to run back to
the toilet. I spent the day in bed, well between bed
and the toilet that is. I had what my mother warned my
about, what travel doctors advise against this dirty
little illness that all our visitors have been prepped
on, are hyper acute to, and have medicine for. I’ve
lived here for nine months washed my lettuce in the
water, occasionally snuck a cup from the tap when no
one’s looking and our house boy has forgotten to order
more. I thought I had this beat. I now accept that fact that I too am
susceptible. I have succumb to travelers diarrhea
(typed with head hung low).
What is a girl to do? I had a train tkt for 7:00pm to
fulfill a lifelong dream of scuba diving.
Factoring emergency pit stops, I set my roaster
crowing cell alarm for 5:00pm. Packed and out the
door…ooh…back to the toilet now out the door with a feelings of
anxiety and suspense….
At the station I ran into Marc, my raw foodist friend
and co-worker. After explaining my situation to him he
runs off and buys me two Singha (Thai Beers) and
instructs my to slam them…well he is a dietary
connoisseur, I’ve tried everything else..I go for it.
Jump on the train and… I don’t necessarily suggest
this technique, but it did help me relax.
Wake up the next morning at 5:00am in Chumphon…run
to the toilet jump off the train…run to the toilet.
Completely hand my life over to the usual Thai guy
trying to sell his tourist services. “Yeah I want to
dive, Yeah I need a place to stay…Yeah Yeah, hook me
up, ahh excuse me”……..run to the toilet.
Upon explaining to the dude “gin kaoh mai dee, mai saw
bai dee” (ate bad rice, am not good), he hooked me up
with the VIP, aircon, English movie, section of the
boat. As I watched European tourists fry themselves in
and Thai’s hide themselves from the 100 degree sunshine,
only a sheet of plexy glass awayj
I decided that the VIP room saved my
life. Being in a Buddhist country it made me
contemplate my karma.
He brings me to my “free” accommodation, it looks low
end, but all I want to do is try and eat and lay
down…I sip soup…proceed to running up this thorny
overgrown jungle hill to my bungalow…I just made it in
time. I relax look out onto over the beautiful sea and
sandy beach, thoughts of how lucky I am to be here
flood the vision I have of dying emancipated and
dehydrated on the toilet. Relaxed I lay down in my
quaint patio hammock. Ow, a sting? Ouch, two stings? Ouch
Ouch Ouch!!! Rolling Out, Jumping up and down stripping my
pants off. RED ANTS all over me, covering the hammock.
Shower, relax, meditate, knee on bed, hands on bed,
BED FILLED WITH ANTS!!!!!
They have no other rooms and the person at the front
desk will not give my deposit back. Slowly I walk to
the beach sit down and cry.. then laugh at my pitiful
state, hey at least I haven’t had to go to the
bathroom in like 40 mins. OK get up, find dude. He
brings me to bamboo bungalow on stills, with a mosquito
net..…Thank God he left I rush to the toilet. Mom this
is totally going to freak you out. I look up and a RAT
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH runs across the rafters
overhead. I called Rob when I saw the cockroach in my
bag…..
More to come later, don’t worry the vacation gets
better and I find my new life’s passion.
